Fun at Avery Manor
by bonnjie
Summary: After Dolvy breaks out of Azkaban with the others, he runs into a manor, not quite knowing what to expect. Fun ensues. Contains swearing and sexual references!


Antonin Dolohov ran as fast as his legs would let him, the winter rain beating down on him as he raced across the manor grounds. It looked like nobody was home, good. He needed a place to stay, and this sprawling place seemed good enough. He could hide in there and nobody would find him. Perhaps they'd have a cigarette? Or even better, alcohol. Diving behind a tree, he planned his entrance before running across to a low window ledge and jumping up, waiting for the familiar flash of lightning before breaking the window with his fist, hoping any occupants would think it was just thunder. As his feet landed on the plush leather couch beneath him, he heard a scream coming from one of the rooms and scowled. Damn it all, someone was here. He spent a few moments looking at the paintings in the room before running off to find the kitchen. He was positively starving, and they'd have knives he could arm himself with. As he ran across the marble floor, he began to wonder which posh persons house he was in. Perhaps a snooty Hufflepuff lived here? He began opening doors, trying to find the kitchen. My god, this place was HUGE. Kids room, kids room, another kids room, yet another kids room, bathroom, another kids room, how many bloody kids did these idiots have? Study, lounge, loo, library, KITCHEN! He left the other doors open, running straight for the cupboards and frantically shoving everything he could into his mouth. Whipped cream, chocolate, the lot. There was even a packet of cigarettes! Score! Now all he needed was a wand to light them with! He took a knife from one of the many drawers, his stomach beginning to bulge from all the food. My god, this place was packed! He made sure he was nice and full before stalking off down a hallway, trying to find the occupant of the house. He'd have to deal with them, the scream had sounded like a womans scream. He hadn't seen women in so long, well, women other than the pyschotic one directly across the hall who screamed bloody murder. Hopefully she'd look nice. Casually walking around, he pushed open doors, peering inside to see if anyone was hiding in the many rooms of the manor. Bloody hell, these people were loaded! He came to an old wooden door, kicking it open and hearing a little whimper coming from inside. Bingo. He jumped down the stairs, making sure to make as much noise as humanly possible to scare the hell out of the person inside.

"Knock knock."

"Go..go away. I'm armed."

"WILKES?"

"Ho...how did you? Get out!"

The room filled with light as someone charmed the room to be full of light. He watched the figure come out from behind a pile of boxes, it was Wilkes, Wilkes that looked scared shitless with a meat cleaver and her wand. Great, she had two things on him. Why on earth was she in such a skimpy nightgown? It was basically under...oh god. He hadn't seen women in so long, so so long. And she did look a lot prettier with a little meat on her bones, that would have been from the children. She pulled around her robe, which wasn't exactly doing Dolohov any favours, in fact, it made him more edgy. He could basically see everything, but he couldn't get at it. Before he could say anything, explain himself, she was hitting him over the head, trying to push him up the stairs and out the door.

"Get out! Get out!"

Impulsively, he grabbed for the wrist the meat cleaver was in, tugging it out of her grip and throwing it into a corner. His other hand dove for her wand, and he slipped that in his pocket before twisting her arms behind her back and walking her up the stairs. He could have had her, oh yes, he knew that. But Avery would have beheaded him, and he preferred his head the way it was. He was so close to her, he could smell the mango and pineapple of her hair. My, it smelt wonderful, he hadn't smelt something sweet since the Ministers wife came with him to Azkaban, and he had reached out and pulled out some of her hair. It had been worth every minute of the hexing that had followed, just for that smell of strawberries. Before he could think, Angies foot was driving upwards, connecting with his groin and forcing him to double over.

"BITCH!"

She bent over, revealing a small bit of cleavage before pulling her wand out of his raggy clothes and pointing it at his neck. Wow, she'd gotten tits since the last time he saw her. From the kids? He found himself half-aroused at the fact that he was now being held hostage by Wilkes, who also happened to be very fiery. He loved the fiery ones. He scrambled up against a wall, getting dirt and muck all over the marble floor, which seemed to anger her more. Why on earth was she angry? Couldn't they just have hot sex and get it over with before Avery came home? He needed it, so so very bad.

"What the..! DOLOHOV THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

A hex hit his chest, coursing through his body and causing him to start twitching madly. What had she seen? He followed her gaze down, covering himself up as he realised he'd gotten a little too happy. Damn it all, if he'd jumped in that smaller manor a few miles back, he could have had his way with one of the semi-hot girls in there. They seemed pretty willing, he thought to himself. She slapped him upside the head, charming cold water to run down his already wet body and forcing him up.

"You're disgusting!"

She took his wrist, pulling him down the hall and trying not to look at the disaster behind her. He found it rather amusing, the way she was trying to avoid him. Without thinking, he pushed her against a wall, rubbing himself up against her and smirking like the madman Azkaban had turned him into.

"GERROFF!"

Another hex, this time he felt something...oh no she didn't! She did not! He looked down his pants, spluttering and coughing, almost crying. She'd gone hexed the general and two colonels! With a truimphant smirk, she pushed him off her, cleaning her white nightgown with a simple charm and pushing him into a room. Why were they in the kitchen again? OOh, bench sex. That was the best kind, he smirked to himself. What was she looking for, he wondered. Whipped cream? Chocolate body paint? She pointed her wand at him, nodding to a cupboard under the sink and smirking. Cupboard sex, what was she on? That was awful hard, but he could do it. He squeezed himself into the small cupboard, wondering how she'd fit in here too. She bent down to his level, laughing to herself and throwing him a tea towel.

"See you in the morning."

What the hell! With a laugh that Dolohov could only describe as pure evil, she shut the cupboard doors on him, and he heard chains and locks and all sorts of charms being placed on it. That bitch! He banged and screamed, pushing against the door and trying to avoid getting a sponge up his arse. Or was that a bottle of dishwashing liquid? Either way it was not bloody pleasant.

"LEMME OUT! LEMME OUT!"

The crack of thunder filled the house as Angie watched him bang and try to force the door open, laughing to herself as the protesting began to stop. He soon realised what the tea towel was for. That little bitch! How dare she...well, she was sort of right. He would have to clean up after himself. NO NO NO, he needed a woman! None of this shit with his hand! A woman dammit! NOT A HAND.

"ANGIE YOU WHORE LET ME OUT!"

As light began to fill the Avery manor, Avery poured himself a cup of tea and wondered what exactly was banging and screaming in the cupboard under the kitchen sink. He was also curious to why there were chains all over it. He'd come home at 1am to find a little shard of broken glass in his leather chair and Angie basically pounced on him when she saw him. He turned on the hot water tap, maybe something was stuck in the drain and it was making that horrid noise. Not that he minded a little bit of noise, he was quite content after last nights round of sex all over the house. Even on the kitchen bench, the kids would be mortified if they ever found out what happened in this house during the school term. It seemed to get worse as the hot water dripped down the drain, now it sounded more like yelping and crying for help, rather annoying actually. Angie jumped into the kitchen, laughing to herself as she kicked the cupboard doors and watched poor old trapped Dolohov bang as hard as he possibly could. Her hair was still askew from last night, he loved the way she looked ten times sexier when she was all mucked up like that.

"Love, what's in that cupboard?"

"Oh, only Dolohov."

The sound of whispering filled the room as Dolohov waited for Avery to come to his rescue. He couldn't leave a mate hungry and alone in this cramped little space. He'd get rickets. He heard the chains coming off, banging on the doors as hard as he could before they flung open and he landed on the floor at Averys feet. Avery looked a little...red. Had he been drinking?

"Mate! Thank fucki-"

"What's this about you trying it on with Angie last night?"

"Oh...shit."

The sound of hexing filled the room as Dolohov tried to hide from Avery, failing miserably and screaming as his body was racked with curses. He curled into a ball, howling as hex after hex hit his pallid body. There was...was that chocolate body paint on the-  
That lucky bastard.


End file.
